Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Mariners fall flat again: 'We'll keep fighting' - The Seattle Times

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Poland election: Conservative historian Nawrocki wins presidential vote - BBC

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How can people balance religious beliefs with seeking professional mental health care?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Archaeologists find what may be the first definitive proof that Neanderthals made artwork - Earth.com

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I had run out of hope.

It’s here now, writing to you.

In your humble opinion, why does the narcissist mistake kindness for weakness in some people?

It’s still here.

I was tired of trying and failing.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

© you're so funny!

Be who you already are.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

The sadness was still there.

The S&P 500 closes at 6,000 as bulls aim for return to record territory - MarketWatch

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

You are like me, then.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Do women lack the mental strength to succeed at STEM? There seems to be few women at STEM and more women leave STEM after a time of working at it. How can it be just sexism if women aren't banned from entering?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of fighting.